Hermione's Brain
by Nymphadora Florida
Summary: What in the world is a typical day in the life of the organizers that inhabit Hermione's brain?


Hermione's Brain

"Oh dear...another thought about Ron...the poor child really is infatuated...well, you belong in here...oh no...there's no more room...ah well--" conjures up another (rather large) filing cabinet "--it's only sixty-fifth one...there we go..." said Irma, a small little nerve that worked in the organizing department in Hermione's brain.  
"Dear Madame, you are mistaken. The thoughts that dear Hermione has about true love go in the cabinet to the right. The one that just got compacted, because she thought too much about it," replied Belle, Irma's working partner.  
"No! _This_ though is of how much of an 'incorrigible git' Ronald is. It _goes_ in THIS cabinet. _Honestly_. We've only been here for sixteen years--I would _think_ you would know your way around. But no! You can't tell the difference between the cabinet that holds thoughts about how much of a 'cute _prat_' Ronald is and the cabinet with thoughts of how much of a 'cute _git_'! I'm ashamed of you!"  
"I'm sorry, Madame. It just seems that this morning while you were asleep from your late night shift that I was the one that had to deal with her hormonal imbalance while talking to Ginny! So if you would please back off so I can finish this filing work? Thanks, you're a doll."  
"Well. Terribly sorry. But while _you_ were talking your nap, it happened that Ronald was sitting very close to the poor dear, AND their hands touched. Hermione really is in love. It's a pity Ronald hasn't figured it out yet--that she loves him and that he loves her."  
"My dear, did you get any messages from Ronald's brain yet? You know, like last week, when we ALMOST got them together. Poor dear. She was thinking about that all morning."  
"I know. I really do believe we should try it again. We were so close. Maybe we should get Misters Bradley and Maxwell--you do remember them, don't you, Ronald's Organizers--in on it. It could very well be the thing that gives us the edge. Ooh! Maybe we could get Misters Alden and Gary--Harry's Organizers--and Madams Avena and Gytha--Ginevra's Organizers--to help. We could enlist many Organizers! I'm sure we could do many things. We could be wonderful matchmakers! After all, we do know everything about the future--well, we _could_ if we got one of the gods to agree with us. I'm sure Aphrodite would find this to be a fun thing! We could be her right hand Organizers, combining our knowledge of Hermione's mind--and our connections with other Organizers who know other people's minds--and Aphrodite's connections with the gods and goddesses! We would do marvelous things! The only catches would be getting Aphrodite to agree--which shouldn't be too hard--and getting two Organizers to take our places--that would be tricky. Hmm...dear, do you know any Organizers who are almost done with their current project? We could ask Hypatia--yes, dear, the goddess of the Mind--to place them in Hermione's mind so we can become matchmakers alongside Aphrodite!

"You are always so babbling about everything! And I know nothing at all about the 'gods' of which you speak. I believe Helena and Hermia finished their organizing this morning; we should give them a call at dinner. They work in the Dream department, I don't know if you've met them, very nice girls, but they always speak in Shakespearean."  
"We should. I haven't talked to Helena or Hermia in _ages_. We really do need to catch up."  
"Shall we head over there now?" asked Belle getting up from her chair.  
"_Irma_, dear--we've been working together long enough, do call me Irma. And I see no reason not to, Hermione is sleeping--we could help Helena and Hermia, possibly."  
"Ah, yes. After a night of late studying, her dreams should be going haywire. Come, _Irma_, let us away."

Irma and Belle slowly got up from their desks, closing cabinets, drawers, and quickly putting things away incase the Grand Master came to check on them.  
"Lead the way. I haven't left this part of Hermione's mind in years. And if I recall, I believe the last time I did, I ended up all confused and on the wrong area. I was looking for Studies and ended up in Secrets. So, yes...please, lead the way."

"I shall teach you how to get there on our way. Well, first you have to got through the secrets department, where all of her girlish and secret beyond secret can't-tell-you-have to -kill you type things are kept. And over to the left is the talents department, where all of her talents and miscellaneous talents are kept."

"Oh my. I really must get out more."  
"You really must. I believe it's driving you mad. So, in any event, here is the holidays department...oh, look they're on spring breaking, must be nice to get a break every once in a while..."  
"Yes it must. I haven't had a vacation since...well...my last project died. Oh well. I won't hope for Hermione to die. She's such a sweet girl. Besides, I really want to know if and when she and Ron get together."  
"Don't worry; she's got at least fifty years left in her. Oh, yes, and we're about to go through the huge studies department...they get a new person here every month to cover everything, did you know that?"  
"No I didn't--oh my. Oh my. This is massive. Goodness gracious. Oh my. Do remind me to look through here. This is marvelous!"  
"You think this is big? Wait until you see the library that's coming up on the far left. I like her studies place because it is always so bustling! Wonderful, really. _Do _call me Belle, Irma."  
"A library! With books filled with knowledge just waiting to be read!"  
"Of course. That's Hermione's special place. Complete silence with all Hermione's favorites. Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe, History, and a few dirty books she reads will dreaming about Ron."  
"Wow...Now, where are these..._dirty_ books...I would like to stay away from them."

"In the 'Ron' section of course...oh...but they're funny, Irma...especially her diary!"  
"Oh good! I do need a laugh once in awhile."  
"Ah, yes, finally...the dream department. Good evening, Hermia, where might thou sister Helena be?"  
"She hath been addicted to the drink lately; I fed her a potion and put her to bed. It's excellent to see both of you, here to help me work?" said Hermia sleepily, pulling out a few chairs for them to sit.  
"That's exactly what we are here for, kind Hermia. Need any help?" said Belle, taking the seat closest to her.  
"We always do, here, let me turn on the cameras..." said Hermia, turning the dials on the televisions that laid on the desk.  
"Good evening, Hermia. It's lovely to see thee. Bid thy sister my good wishes," said Irma kindly, taking the seat next to Belle.  
"I will, fair Irma. I haven't seen thee in ages! Ah, yes, he we are. Hermione's dream cycle."  
"What's that she's dreaming about now?" asked Belle, intently looking at the middle T.V. screen.  
"Ah, she's had this dream for quite some time now, Helena and I should've recycled it long ago, but we haven't cracked what it means yet, perhaps one of thee can discover what it means..." said Hermia softly.  
"Please, explain what thee knows, kind Hermia," said Irma, with a hint of confused tone in her voice.  
"As you both know, 50 of Hermione's dreams are about Ron, 25 studies, and 25 are miscellaneous. This dream fits into that last category. For a fortnight, Hermione has dreamt this dream about none other than..." started Hermia.  
"Harry," whispered Irma and Belle together in shock.  
"Precisely. She's kissing him vigorously, and Ron walks in at the last second, throws Harry off of her, and they fight for three days until she marries Harry. Now why is this?"  
"Hmmm...perhaps it symbolizes what she fears...she doesn't fancy Harry but many people believe that she and Harry should be together...so she fears that...and because she would lose Ron for a friend, and any chance to be more than a friend with him, over that...but that's merely my guess..." said Irma thoughtfully.  
"Genius! Thou art pure genius! Thou should work in the dream department!" said Hermia happily.  
"Wait, kind Hermia, there seems to be a new part of the clip!" said Belle excitedly.  
Hermia turned and faced the T.V. screen. "Ah! What shall be hidden underneath fear?" she muttered to herself.  
"There is more? Do tell," asked Irma like a child waiting to be read her favorite fairy tale.  
Hermia walked over to the nearest filing cabinet and started searching. "Hidden fears...hidden fears..." she mumbled to herself.  
"Irma...I told you Hermia and Helena were a bit loony..." whispered Belle.  
"Oh yes...so...we just have to wait until she's finished looking at whatever she's looking at and she'll tell us then? Or will we have to dig it out of her?" whispered Irma.  
"Oh, stop. You have no idea how well Hermia knows these parts..."  
"I _do_ know how well she knows this place considering how well we know her thoughts about Ron...but I don't like being kept in the dark when the knowledge is unfolding right in front of my eyes."  
"Hermia darling...do you have it yet?" asked Belle kindly.  
"Ah, yes...I have found it. Hermione's Dream Line Graph. Helena and I have been tracking all of the peaks and odd parts of her dreams. Rewind the tape please, Belle."  
"Yes, Hermia."  
"Hurry _up_, Belle. Terribly sorry, my curiosity is very—powerful…" said Irma, curiosity bounding out of her voice. Belle glared at her.  
"Observe. The line graph shows that in the past three months, once each month she gets this dream for three days."  
"Hormonal imbalances," droned Belle unhappily.  
"Precisely. She loves Ron but secretly has scary dreams of Harry and through the night wakes up to find that she is kissing her pillow," replied Hermia.  
Irma swore under her breath so only Belle could hear a little bit of it. "I've always hated hormones. Looks like she does, too. Poor child. I hated hormones growing up--still do actually. I mean, they serve no purpose but to humiliate us! Have I mentioned how much I really _detest_ hormones? They are pointless besides making us so mortified that our face is so red that we could blend in with a fire truck! Oh, that's that long Smuggle thing on wheels that rushes to fire scenes."  
"Why, Irma, I'm ashamed of you. First endlessly babbling and now swearing under your breath?" lectured Belle curiously.  
"Who's the guy?" asked Hermia suddenly.  
"There is no _guy_," said Irma, blushing furiously.  
"Confide in me, dear Irma, for my love works in the studies department...that love from which fell in love with Helena...but yet...ah...never mind...stupid Midsummer Night's Dream..." said Hermia, looking at Irma.  
"You were an actress?" asked Belle curiously.  
"Anyways, _do _tell..." said Hermia quickly.  
"There _is_ no guy," said Irma, still blushing, though with an angry tone.  
"We absolutely must find you one!" exclaimed Belle with a burst of giggles.  
"Oh, I know this man...very charming fellow, Bradley...he works for Ronald. An organizer of some sort..." said Hermia thoughtfully.  
"Really?" questioned Irma, raising an eyebrow.  
"Yes, you mentioned him earlier, remember Irma?" said Belle.  
"I shall communicate to him immediately. When is the next time Hermione sees Ron?" asked Hermia.  
"Yes I _know_ him...I just thought he was seeing that Organizer from the Dreams department of Hermione's mind. And considering that Hermione will be waking up in about four hours, I would say that she will see Ronald in approximately five hours--or whenever breakfast is," said Irma.  
Hermia blushed. "We used to date. But then, I had a torn love affair with the sexy man that dear William created for me in the library..." said Hermia, lost in her thoughts.  
"Moving on..." said Belle.

At this moment, Helena walked in, wearing her pajamas and slippers. "Hermia, 'tis the turn of mine now to watch the Dreams..." she said sleepily…and then she spotted Irma and Belle. "You didn't tell me we hath company."  
"Do not be alarmed, my dear Helena. 'Tis only the two organizers from the other side of dear Hermione's brain. We hath not seen them in ages," replied Hermia.  
"Oh yes...sorry...I had forgotten where we were...terribly sorry...Good evening, Helena, 'tis been too long since we last talked," said Irma.  
"Mmmmhmmm...the research dear Hermia?" asked Helena, almost ignoring Irma.  
"Going well," replied Hermia.  
"You didn't tell them, did you?" she asked her sister skeptically.  
The sisters whispered in the quiet silence. Belle and Irma glare at them.  
"What? You both know that we would never tell anybody secrets! We would merely store them in the secrets department," murmured Hermia, looking at Belle and Irma.  
"Oh, but fair Hermia...this research hath more than just Hermione...and of Ron..." Helena whispered back.  
"I'm lost," Irma whispered to Belle.  
"They're a bit off..." whispered Belle.  
"Just a bit," whispered Irma, glaring at Belle.  
"Let us sneak away while we can...I know a shortcut through the forest of trashed thoughts," said Belle.  
"Yay! I like shortcuts," replied Irma.  
"Follow me!" whispered Belle and the two tip-toed out of the whispering room.

"Wow...Hermione sure lost some thought in this forest. Look at the trees!" said Belle. "'I wish my mum was here. 'I think I like Ron.' 'I know I like Ron.' 'I think I have a crush on Ron.' 'I know I have a crush on Ron.' 'I think I love Ron.'"  
"She forgot one. 'I know I love Ron,'" said Irma, mimicking Hermione's voice.  
"She hasn't trashed that one yet, so therefore, it doesn't belong here," said Belle logically.  
"Oh. Well, she should. It's an incomplete pattern. Besides, it's been long enough. She should trash it and replace it with: 'Damn it! Why does the love of my life have to be so damn blind!'"  
"Wait...what's this little tree..." said Belle skeptically, pointing to a small tree growing out of the ground. "'I have weird dreams of how much I love Harry'."  
"Erm...wow...I never took Hermione to be one who states the obvious..." said Irma.  
"She must've just thought of that one..." said Belle. "Uh-oh...she's awake and hasn't had her morning dose of coffee...it isn't safe here..."  
"I am getting out. I am getting out. Rather quickly, too!" said Irma, sprinting to what she thought what was the nearest exit.  
"Uh...dear...where are you going? This forest stretches through the vast majority of the unused places in dear Hermione's mind. The only way out is to think hard an go straight...but we absolutely much watch for the demons."  
"You don't _need_ to watch out for demons, just need to give a bit of coffee with two creams and one sugar and you'll be on their good side," angrily muttered Irma under her breath.  
"Hermione is the only one that can do that. And I _know_ that we both forgot our extra cases of coffee if that worked anyways..."  
"Damn it. We're so screwed."

Author's Note: This fic was written by both me and ZHeRoTaN. Go check out some of her other stories! Thanks for reading and please review!


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